I was jogging this morning and just consumed with a lot of anxiousness and doubt. I didn't want to be going through this summer even though I knew it would draw me closer to Christ. All I wanted to do was turn on the TV, grab a bar of chocolate and drowned out any thought that came into my head. TV really does that. You can watch a show and it thinks for you, it takes you out of reality if only for a short time, but when the show is over, it makes you feel worse than before it started. I have been having a hard time waking up in the morning. I have had all these plans to start the day off right and energized, but I end up sleeping hours past my alarm clock. This happens every once in a while, and I have tried to find why this happens and what my mood is like during this time. I noticed two things when this happens: There is always something that I am not wanting to process through, and 2, I watch TV, which I rarely watch, until 2am or until I fall asleep on the couch rather than in my bed. Does this sound familiar?
I am not strong, at all. I know this, yet, I still act like it is my responsibility and duty to manage and get from point A to point B to point C to point D... and so on. What burden am I taking sole responsibility to to carry? How can I know I am weak, yet act like I am strong?
So this morning as I was jogging, a song by remedy drive came through on my music player. I have heard this song many times before and never really caught the message of it. But God put it right into my head. God is great at bringing me to utter brokenness, yet never despair. He snatches me right from the doorway of despair's home, never too early, but always right on time.
Here’s for the years the worms have eaten
grace for the youth that’s almost gone
i was awake when you were sleeping
when you are weak i still am strong
don’t despair child- you’d think i can hold you up when you fall
if i can hold up the stars i can answer your call
why so anxious? you’d think i can light up the path for your feet
if i can turn on the sun - let it shine in your street
when i rise up, when i’m carefully painting the dawn it’s for you
rise and shine love, give glory where glory is due - Remedy Drive
I love you sister! Thanks for sharing your weaknesses so I can pray all the more specifically for you...
ReplyDeleteHeavenly Father,
You are just that, a Father that never fails or disappoints, especially when we are weak or in despair. Thank you for your perfect timing and meeting my beautiful sister Jocelyn right where she is this summer. She trusts in your promises that you are strong when she is weak. I pray that you strengthen her according to her needs. Help her to fix her eyes on pursuing you this summer and keep her from stubbing her toes on the obstacle of laziness and complacency. I thank you for a sister that I can look up to as well as encourage. Remind her that you are Yaweh king of truth and the lies that Satan sneaks into her head are indeed lies. Remind her to follow Philippians 4:8 "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things." Jahovah-Jireh, you are the God that provides! Please, Lord provide for Jocelyn both financially and emotionally. Remind her that you delight in her and it is because you first loved her that she has the ability to love. For you she sings and dances! I thank you for trials, because it is through hardships that we are able to draw closer to you. Help her to have a joyful heart and rejoice in you always. I pray that she would keep the main thing, the main thing. Free her from distractions so that she can more purposefully serve you. It is through Jesus Christ name that I lift up Jocelyn, your daughter. AMEN!