When there is no time for April, jump to Maypril

Have you ever felt like you were being watched? How much do you think you could hold someone's interest?  If your life was being blogged about, would the blog be read? Maybe if your life isn't that intriguing, you'd be the blog writer..

So Ill be the blog writer, observing others who might not think their life is blog-worthy...maybe a life is only interesting if someone intercepts it with commentary or direction or purpose. Maybe like everyone has a twin somewhere in the world...everyone has a personal blogger....think about it. :)

I initially wrote that above paragraph to be silly, but the more I read it, I have found some meaningful tid-bits in it. But if not, I blame Caribou Coffee, where I sat with a pen and scrap paper from a friend's journal because I brought nothing to read or write with.  I had to make do for a couple hours and realized I haven't thought creatively in some time.  And coffee houses just bring out that side of me I guess.

I have been craving a good blog entry for sometime, but similar to picking up a pencil and sketching a beautiful piece of work, you have to be in the right mood to write something subscribe-able. 

        

April has been soooooo crazy. I just got back from Alexandria MN where the crusade staff has a "relaxing" and "refreshing" conference.  However, it really came at the worst time. We drove 6 hours to get there and being the first days of May, the weather was cold, windy, and wet. At one point, my friend Tanya and I tried to get a good run in, and we had to push through a fierce wind that nearly knocked us right over. In that process I think I did something weird to my right knee.  The conference came at the wrong time because I leave for North Myrtle Beach, SC in 2 weeks from today, and have lists upon lists of things to do.  I'm crunched for time and feeling the weight of finishing the year off well.  I don't really mean to complain. I did take some good messages away from the conference this weekend. I need to bring my present reality into the presence of God, because he can change a present reality at anytime.  Also, regardless of past experience, I must believe his promises.  Sarah laughed when God told Abraham she would have a son in her old age, because her past experience told her otherwise. But His promise was that they were to be ancestors of the nation.  Sarah's present reality was that she was old and past child barring age, but God can change her present reality in an instance. Abraham stood in God's presence and believed in his promise.

So what that led me to do was think of what promises I wasn't believing, and I also asked myself what my present reality was and if I was bringing that into God's presence.

I got back from the conference at 330am and couldn't sleep at all. Everything was running through my mind like a stampede of bulls.  So one by one, I was releasing my hands from what I had to get done and complete well in the next 2 weeks, and handing them over to God who would do a much better job. I wasn't believing that He cared for me in the little things (that I had made the big things)... I came into his presence and all else become much smaller... myself included. And I drifted off to sleep.

Most days I take pride in my ability to adapt to sudden changes, take on a long list of to-dos and smile through it all. But I was sure fooling myself. And when you stare your pride right in the face it's rather humiliating.  I still have a lot to do, but, I have to remember, I am a helper of my Guide, my God.  It was never my burden to bear.

Having faith that the grass is green underneath the snow

So I know it is Spring...
The last entry I was hoping that my next entry would not be spring.. but it is. However, there is still snow on the ground in Stevens Point so I feel like it's okay.

The last month has been so fast. March had so many stuffed events.  One special event was the Spring break trip down to Panama City Beach, Fl. 22 students from Central Wisconsin and 5 staff members including myself took a coach bus down to PCB for an outreach conference. We learned how to really listen to people on the beach about their spiritual perspective. Listening is sooooo important when witnessing to someone. No one will listen back if they do not feel heard. It was a great week. We had spiritual conversations with 2900 people on the beach, shared the Gospel with over 1000 people and over 300 indicated that they wanted a personal relationship with Christ. It was a beautiful thing. Just beautiful. It was not threatening, or intimidating to just listen to how people felt about spiritual things and get an opportunity to tell them how Christ has changed my life. I also feel like it gave me a glimpse of what I will be doing this summer in North Myrtle Beach, SC. for 7 weeks. I am much more appreciative and excited for it.
***Here are a few pics from the week:

all the women!

a little staff fun

one faithful sunset

This last week, after I returned from Florida, I managed to get a sore throat-cold thingy. On Thursday morning, I woke up in excruciating pain coming from my right side kidney. From what I understood already, I could guarantee that I had a kidney stone. I don't know how I possibly could have gotten one, but I am pretty sure I did since the pain subsided completely. The pain has not come back which both scares me and calms me. I know pain only happens when a kidney stone moves, but it also could have broke up on its own and passed. I am praying for the second so I am free of the chance for more pain like that. It was horribly and I would never wish it on anyone...

So the week had a rough ending mostly, but I am remaining positive as the next coming weeks I will be starting to support raise for year 2 internship with campus crusade. I am nervous and excited to do this again. it brings back how hard last summer was, but I will again see God do some really cool things.

Next weekend I will be visiting my family(brother, sister-in-law, nephew, sister) in Iowa.  I am so happy to be seeing them again. My sister is getting married this summer and being able to be with her as she walks through these coming months, even if for a little bit, will be great!

Until next time! Here is another picture of how i am feeling on the inside (though I currently have a Kleenex wedged up my nose and a hot pad on my side..)

its been a while..

wow! has it been some time since I wrote here in my blog.. the time has blown by, and it seems I have been taken away by the fierce wind.. at least taken away from my blog anyways.

Ive blown into stevens point, where I intern with campus crusade for Christ. It has gone so well, I enjoy it most days. However, there are the days when I dont want to talk to anyone for awhile, eat a tub of choco-choco-chip  icecream and doritos and watch something like NCIS and think as little as possible about people and trying to love well with all the strength that is now focused on burning up the ice-cream in my stomach.

That last paragraph sounded rather sad, but those days don't come too often, believe me! I would have gained 300 lbs by now if that was true. I am growing in many ways not in pants sizes due to God's steadfast pursuit of my heart. I have walked through so many interesting situations this last semester-and-a-half dealing with leadership, my character, how to handle conflict, love people better, make tough decisions, trusting the Lord, trusting the lord to guide me... ahh the list goes on. No pain no gain right? and growing in the lord is rather painful at times, but I sure am glad I can see his goodness in it. He is so good. so faithful. so loving. He is my God.

Some highlights of the year thus far are as follows:
I became an aunt for the first time on October 29th! Landon Matz Dahlberg is his name-O. He is a beautiful little man. I got to visit Justin and Andrea down in Iowa a few times (which is much more than normal) and each time I was down there I got sick and had to keep my distance. Bummer. I'm hoping the next time I see him I will have an antibody to every winter virus known to man... Nothing will stop me now!

Speaking of super heroes, I recently got into this new show called "The Cape" about a cop who get's framed for being a villan-murderer. The real bad guys think they have killed the cop but he is really alive and now takes on the identity of "the Cape" until he can identify the real bad guy to the public, then freeing himself to show he is really alive to his wife and kid who are miserable at home.  I don't know how long this series will last, because I am just wanting so badly for him to get back to his wife and son. How lame would it be if they just moved on because they thought he was dead!? Torture! but yeah.. this show occupies 45 min of my time on Tuesday afternoon when i can watch it on HULU (I don't have cable)...

Another highlight of the year is that I get to spend much more time with my boyfriend Matt who is finishing his last semester of classes in Madison pharmacy school before his rotations begin in May.  We have been mostly long distance for the past 4 years of dating and it was getting really hard. We made some sacrifices (mostly time and gas) this semester and have made it possible to see each other more than every two to three weeks.
Praise the Lord, it will be so good for our relationship.

Now being February and colder and blahish, Im anxiously awaiting for fresh green grass, sounds of birds and people walking outside again. I look forward to it, I can sense it's coming... at least that's what the groundhog said when it didn't see it's shadow???

Im hoping that it wont be spring by the time I write my next blog entry, and I hope to be more up-to-date on these things--even if i only have two or three followers. :)

Until next time!
-Jocelyn

one of those songs that hits you in the face

I was jogging this morning and just consumed with a lot of anxiousness and doubt.  I didn't want to be going through this summer even though I knew it would draw me closer to Christ. All I wanted to do was turn on the TV, grab a bar of chocolate and drowned out any thought that came into my head. TV really does that.  You can watch a show and it thinks for you, it takes you out of reality if only for a short time, but when the show is over, it makes you feel worse than before it started.  I have been having a hard time waking up in the morning.  I have had all these plans to start the day off right and energized, but I end up sleeping hours past my alarm clock.  This happens every once in a while, and I have tried to find why this happens and what my mood is like during this time.  I noticed two things when this happens:  There is always something that I am not wanting to process through, and 2, I watch TV, which I rarely watch, until 2am or until I fall asleep on the couch rather than in my bed.  Does this sound familiar? 
I am not strong, at all.  I know this, yet, I still act like it is my responsibility and duty to manage and get from point A to point B to point C to point D... and so on.  What burden am I taking sole responsibility to to carry?  How can I know I am weak, yet act like I am strong? 

So this morning as I was jogging, a song by remedy drive came through on my music player.  I have heard this song many times before and never really caught the message of it.  But God put it right into my head.  God is great at bringing me to utter brokenness, yet never despair.  He snatches me right from the doorway of despair's home, never too early, but always right on time.

Here’s for the years the worms have eaten


grace for the youth that’s almost gone

i was awake when you were sleeping

when you are weak i still am strong

don’t despair child- you’d think i can hold you up when you fall

if i can hold up the stars i can answer your call

why so anxious? you’d think i can light up the path for your feet

if i can turn on the sun - let it shine in your street

when i rise up, when i’m carefully painting the dawn it’s for you

rise and shine love, give glory where glory is due - Remedy Drive

i can not rescue myself

Officially, I must begin my journey with Jesus in finding a ministry team to be a part of reaching more college students, who will reach families, who will reach the world for Christ. I could not sleep much last night, and felt the same weight I would be feeling if I was doing this all on my own. But after prayer, I am reminded that I am not alone, that this is not on my own strength, which has yet to be exerted. I sense a strong and wise hand on my back, which puts me at an ease and has given me a better perspective on walking forward.

I learned this morning about being a rescuer. How, so often, I try to be a rescuer for people, but often can not be. Jesus is a rescuer, we just need to stay out of his way. If you picture it like this: A person in constant trouble, drama surrounding them and we run to their aid thinking that we can handle their every need, answer every question. But when we can't, we run dry, we add to the drama. It's like Sarai who, not willing to wait for God to bare Abram a child, acted as the rescuer in giving Hagar to him instead. Now what did that bring? More drama... she could not handle it.

So often, we are thinking that God is only walking with us through our struggles, and not others, so we give ourselves the responsibility of doing it for Him. Are we just in his way? Doesnt God have a plan for them as well? A plan to prosper and not harm them? To give them a hope and a future too? Yes he does. So lets just stand out of the way shall we? He will prove again and again that his plan is better than our own, and he will show us and lead us when to use our hands and hearts for those in need.

New transitions...

5.10.2010

Hello all,

Im starting a blog that will be an informational and hopefully an encouraging spot for those inquiring. I am shy of a week till I graduate from the University of Wisconsin Stevens Point. From there I will begin the summer search and rescue of a ministry team who will prayerfully and financially offer support for my internship with Campus Crusade for Christ starting in the Fall. This may be one of the most adventurous, and refining walks of my life as I lean completely on God's understanding rather than my own. He will provide, and he will do some amazing things in my life and others.

So. Please keep your hands, arms, legs and noses inside the carpet....cause we're out'a here!!!!